Pressure, Pause, Perform: Finding Balance in a Busy World | Episode 36

Ever wondered how some people bounce back from setbacks while others burn out? In this episode, Simon and Rusty catch up and chat about resilience during busy, demanding times in work and life. They dig into the pressures of always performing at a high level and why taking time to recover really matters. They share stories, coaching reflections, and analogies to explore how leaders and teams can create environments where people feel supported and able to grow. They also explore the value of downtime, mindful pauses, and simple routines that help keep life in balance, wrapping up with a some personal intentions for looking after themselves better in the month ahead.

In this episode:

·         Resilience and Bouncebackability: How people and teams deal with setbacks, and why being able to bounce back is such an important skill.

·         The Cost of Constant Busyness: The toll of always being “on” and the importance of making space to recover.

·         Stories as Leadership Tools: How stories and analogies—like Aesop’s fable about hidden gold—can help land simple but powerful leadership messages.

·         Building Supportive Environments: Exploring how teams, communities, and culture help people feel supported when things get tough.

·         Pressure and Expectations in Performance: Lessons from sport and coaching on managing expectations while keeping perspective.

·         Mindfulness, Boredom, and Downtime: Why slowing down—and even being a bit bored sometimes—can actually be good for us.

·         Rituals, Reflection, and Personal Growth: How small habits like exercise and reflection can make a big difference over time.

Please like, subscribe or follow, so you're notified of any new episodes coming up, and if you're keen to reach Rusty or Simon with any suggestions, feedback or comments, you can contact them via the show's LinkedIn page here:

https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-bouncebackability-podcast/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Simon and Rusty here with the Bounce Back Ability Podcast. The podcast that explores how to deal with obstacles, setbacks, and challenges. Hope you enjoy the pod. Looking forward to it. Listen on.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Uh hey everyone. Hope you're well. Hope you're having a great day. Hope you're rocking and rolling. Excited for your day ahead. Just like you are, Simon. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

How are you feeling, mate? Yeah, I'm absolutely brilliant. I'm a little tired. Um, but yeah, you're definitely not as upbeat as you. And actually, I haven't done as much as you've done, and I'm more tired than you are, I think. So yeah, I don't know. I think it's a bounce backability lesson in here, I think.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Yeah, there's always a lesson. You can't always be perfect. I uh I was just saying to you like last week, I did uh Stoke and back, uh Ipswich and back, uh Sheffield and back, Birmingham and back from Bristol. And but there's a there's a benefit to that, isn't there? Because there's time in the car to think and listen to music and and all that type of stuff as well.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

I love that you're taking the positives out of what is an insane amount of travelling. For our international lit listeners, that is a lot of driving. Um rush to have done there. It's a lot, so um, yeah, but nice, good, good that you're doing so well with it. Because I'm I mean I've just been out and about. I've been doing quite a lot, quite busy. Um, did a really big, big deal um not that long ago, and I think I'm feeling the aftermath of that. So it was quite stressful. So just need to take some time and chill, which I'm not gonna do, obviously, even though I know it would help me. I'm absolutely flat out flying to Europe on Thursday, I think.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

What are you gonna do? Because this would be Suzanne's performance cycle that we're talking about, and you've like you've just had a performance, you've prepared for it, you've obviously there's been some big stuff going on at TG, and now you're in the recovery stage of it, which obviously is really important what you do in the recovery stage. Um and what are you gonna do in the recovery stage? This feels like a coaching session already.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

This is brilliant. So, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna work really hard and I'm gonna do loads, and I'm gonna pretend that I don't need to recover, and yeah, that's gonna be excellent, isn't it? Hmm.

unknown 2:17

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Maybe I think what I'll probably do is I've not been doing enough exercising, and I think that's really impacting me. I've not been going to the gym much and not been do it getting out enough. Um, so I think you know, to answer your question, there's a guy I want to go and do some PT stuff with. Um so I think I'm gonna do that. I think I'll get in touch with him, try and go down this week. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

And what's happened to the reform of Pilates?

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Oh, I'm still doing that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Yeah, no, but that's that's kind of yeah, that's an hour of stretching. I mean, I'm I'm talking about doing something a bit more active. Um the reform of Pilates is unbelievably good, it's just a different type of exercise, isn't it? I need I need more than that.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

We're um well, I think I said to you, we've done uh we've done 1300 reps on the uh Birty Boys this morning. So starts with a thousand on the first of Jan, and then it's it's increasing, and then uh and we've got obviously two friends of the pod were on, so James Rutter, and now um uh well obviously we've done a British school pod, and Tom, who me and you met at the British school, he's now on because he went to school with Rutter, which I didn't know, and so now I've got a double a double uh bounce blackability podcast connection every morning, which is pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

That is really cool. I saw Ratz the other day as well. He phoned me up and said hello, he seems to be doing well. Yeah, shout out to Ratz. Yeah, so um shout out to Rats. So, what's been going on in your world this this month then? Have you anything uh anything relevant? I think you might have a couple of things.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Uh yeah, I as ever I go through my diary and try and remind myself what I've been doing because it feels fast. Um I think uh well uh let's just I mean it is a as challenging a time as ever I've seen, like in the world. Obviously, there's some stuff going on in the background as well in countries that appear to be closer to us than they previously were. Um so the stuff on the trying to stay away from the news as much as possible. I know you've had a bit of a war on socials, but I'm definitely like finding it hard when I turn on a telly or I'm in uh uh I was in a hotel restaurant the other day and had a telly on and and you like see some headlines and you're like, oh my good god. So I'm probably trying to avoid as much of that stuff as possible.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Yeah, definitely. I mean I think get I mean it's it's not something you can avoid completely, is it? Not unless you sort of I don't know, go to the woods and live in a tent. Um I think it is I think it's huge for your own for your for your resilience to be off those kinds of things. Because it just sets your brain into into into red, doesn't it? The fight flight freeze, you're just worrying about it, getting anxious. It's not it's not doing you any good. I think getting offline is is important, huge in fact. You know, reading books. I mean we've talked quite a few times. Been trying to read novels. I've got a whole load of stuff that I've got I've got a bunch of books. Actually, I'm not gonna go and pick them up because it'll mess up my microphone. But I've got a whole load of books that um I got off Claire Murphy. Loads of stories. So I've been I've been um Yeah, there's stories loads of myths like Aesop's fables, that kind of stuff. Because we've been doing we've been doing some storytelling um stuff with Claire at TG, so I've been trying to find um some stories to use um with that. Found a really good one, or a really good leadership one, which uh can I do quickly? Nah, take too long, I think. Take out the whole podcast to sell it.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

But just give just give us an overview, give us give us the give us the synopsis of the of the book.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Um Well, it's it's just a little story, it's just a little Aesop's um tale, so it's only a few lines really. It's about it's uh it's a farmer, he's got a load of sons, and he goes out into a fi he goes out to work in the field, he's feeling really ill, so he comes back. He's quite old, and he sadly passes away. But just before he dies, he says to his kids, There's a pot of gold in the field um somewhere. And they go, Where is it? And before he can tell them, he sadly passes away. But it but he did tell them it was only one feet below the surface. So they go out and they start digging to try and find this pot of gold. So they go all over quite a big farm and it takes some months, and they're digging all through it and they just cannot find it. They try everywhere and they're they're really quite they get a bit annoyed with him. Um so why didn't he tell us where it was? It's such a shame. Anyway, they dig and dig and dig. This is in the autumn, and anyway, spring comes around and they plant the fields, um, and then it's the most unbelievable crop that they've ever had because they dug the farm so well that everything grew, and then they realised what he meant was not the pot of gold, but uh to get out of there and work, and I thought that was quite a good analogy on leadership, which is yeah, let people get out encourage people to go out and do stuff, um, get off their screens, um, and they might not always like it. They quite often get a bit cross with you because they want you to help them and tell you tell you how to do it. Um, but actually, if if they go, they do, they try, there is uh there is an amazing harvest for them at the end of it. So yeah, I thought it's quite a nice leadership analogy on helping people to do and and understanding that they're not gonna always enjoy you doing that to them. Um I think it's a really good analogy. So I've I've worked I mean that wasn't I didn't do that terribly well, but I've worked on that story so I can I can tell it in a way that that lands quite impactfully. Um that's quite cool. Claire's great, isn't she? I mean I know we bang on her about a lot, but she's she's pretty great, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

She's in your top five somewhere below Mustafa.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Um Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, she's up there, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Well she's getting up there now, isn't she? Um Yeah, and it's interesting, isn't it? Again, we've just done a we've just done a Premier League workshop uh 48 hours for the heads of coaching and um yeah, and just again their use of story to help support people who are often having challenging times or can't make sense of something or you know just need something to go click in their brains and go, oh okay, yeah, I get that. So I've been hanging with a couple of uh coach developers, Tony Cook, Ash Giggins, who've been doing that really well, and I've like I've really appreciated that. Um and then the other thing that's helped me is that just that I've had real good feedback in the last kind of few weeks off people. So, you know, often talk about this a lot, but but proximity to feedback is really helpful, and you know, you if you get it and you're close to impact, then that's helpful, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 9:12

So um stuff that's um you don't you don't have to if you don't, it's cool. Can be personal sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Yeah, I just had a guy just messaged me, go, thanks for the last two days, it's been class. Thanks for your support, advice and challenging convos. Uh it's the first time I've been in your company and just got home buzzing from that experience. Genuinely hope it won't be the last time. Thanks for the last two days, brilliant learning, speak soon, and then uh catch the pigeon, uh, is how he signed off, which is uh one of the stories we were talking about. So uh that's pretty cool. Yeah, I've I've had quite a bit of that. I I get I'm I'm pretty lucky with feedback, but it definitely helps, doesn't it? Like you'll be working with lots of leaders that are doing great stuff and they're they're probably digging their own fields and there'll be some long-term stuff, but sometimes they don't, you know, people don't tell them what's helping, or you did that and I I love that.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

And yeah, I think so. I think uh I mean business coaching, different to sport coaching, but not very at all. I mean, there's so many similarities, and most of the time you're just encouraging, aren't you? Trying to help people feel good about what they're doing. Because there's they you know they've got to practice, they've got to go, they've got to try things. Um boredom's a good one, isn't it? I mean, in terms of resilience, uh trying to find some time to be bored. I was um I was I was with some mates and they had a playlist on. They like I had MTV on. So they they were playing music, so it was loads of old videos, you know. From back I mean, you know, I'm an old man, but there's loads of old videos from back in the 80s, 90s. Um and they had one of the Breakfast Club um songs on. You know, hey, hey, hey, hey, that one. Do you know you know the one I mean? Oh dear, that was bad.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Yeah, I know what you mean.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Um but they had loads of clips from Breakfast Club. And um, I don't know if you know the film, I'm assuming you do, but if you Yeah, I do know the film, my wife looks my wife loves it.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

My wife loves it.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

My wife loves the film too, and um that I was thinking about that being a a lot of that about boredom and relationships and all that stuff. So, you know, I I think you know, being bored, having having to sit with nothing to do, is quite difficult for a lot of people, especially for people I coach. I mean I'm coaching guys running companies, founding companies, growing companies, um, and they're busy, really energized people, and I uh I spend a lot of time helping them to be bored and just to be sometimes and just to let things settle a bit because they're so on it all of the time, this whole hustle culture idea, and it and it hurts their performance. They're they're not that good at just being, you know, hanging out with Luke Doherty and and Kareem with mindfulness is a big help for me. But I was thinking about being bored of actually not having anything to do and not then trying to go and do something and just being with the boredom. And the Breakfast Club, that film is about that, isn't it? Because they're they're there, they're bored, they're restricted, they can't, they they're in detention at school, they can't do anything apart from mundane tasks. So they start they sit and are bored and they start building these incredible connections with each other and starting to understand each other because they're just having to pay attention to what's around them, as opposed to doing, and I think a lot of psychologists would say that doing is very avoidant sometimes. You know, you go you you don't allow some of the things that have happened or some of the things that are going on around you to to affect you because you don't want it, you don't want to go there. So you go off and do stuff to avoid it, and to sometimes just being with yourself and sitting is is a really powerful tool to help you perform at your absolute best because it lets things settle down, deals with stuff, and forces you to be with yourself. And I think that is uh that as a coach, I think encouraging really high performing people. I mean, you're working in high performance sport, I'm working with entrepreneurs and business leaders who are performing at pretty high level, um, helping them to just be bored sometimes is really powerful. I don't know, do you do is that something you ever see in the sports where the you know, I I guess people are always on it, aren't they?

SPEAKER_01 13:37

No, the best aren't. The best are thinking about it like performance, they're thinking when do I need to recover? When do I need to show up? Um, when do I need to switch my brain off? When do I need to daydream? Um, yeah, all of those things. Like it was you've got headphones on now. I mean, it was the I remember getting a Walkman in the 80s, and that was the first time you could ever have, you know, you up until that point it was literally you by yourself. Like you couldn't, you know, you you couldn't like take music with you, you couldn't take screen with you, you couldn't take anything with you, could you? So like you if you wanted to watch telly, like you would sit in front of the telly and it would be timetabled, and that would be done if you missed it, then so yeah. I mean, I I'm I'm lucky. Like I I think I said this before. When Luke did the thing at with TG when we did the leadership training, and he said, I just want everyone to switch their brains off for five minutes and just go like black. Well, I can do that.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Like like that.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

I think it's I cannot. Yeah, and no, I think um my wife can't, and so she's like, Oh my god, that's just not my brain. Um, but like that's yeah, that's just how it how it is for me. I'm pretty good at that stuff. Uh I I love being on my own. I love just being there. Like, I'll go for a walk. I might listen to music, but or I'll just go and walk. And I love it. I'm really comfortable with it. And it definitely helps me. And I do my best thinking in those moments often. Um it made me think a little bit there about we do a couple of spotlight days recently with people and just how little people know each other, even though they've been like working with each other for years. And yeah, and because part of this performance is also is the team around you, isn't it? So if you're a leader, it's it's the rest of USLT, and it's but they know each other often on like a functional or tasky or a roles responsibility level, but I don't really know like how do I get the best out of Simon? How do I so I'm always a bit worried about when I do these days that I'm like, what if they know each other really well? And what if like this stuff are they? You know they never do. They never do. Uh or they do, or they know some stuff, or but they've never told people. Uh so I really appreciate those days, and sometimes it's interesting, isn't it? Because everyone, you know, especially with the way the world is now, that return on investment, and some of this stuff's hard to measure, like, isn't it? Like, how do I get the best out of my teammates? Like that might not, you might not see that emerge, or you know, that that might actually lead to someone leaving your business. Yeah. Um, yeah, or it might, you know, or it might lead to retention, but that that shows up in you know, in a few years' time as opposed to tomorrow. So I guess I'm just like I've I've seen a fair amount of that stuff as well. Um yeah, which has I guess been definitely like interesting for me. And then the other thing I've thought about with the band Spectability was my uh Amy's my wife's um uh uncle died recently, and he was at St. Mary's Old Boys Rugby Club. Um and actually uh Cool Rugby Club. Yeah, cool rugby club. And they um at one point he was asked to go and play for Bristol, but he wanted to stay with his child at the club. And there was loads of guys there who would be were way older than me, um, who were wearing like the blazers and the ties, and and everyone just spoke about like the beauty of the club and like how it connected people and they're still in touch with each other, and yeah, you know, a guy came to me who was who was 90 and said, Russell Earnshaw, white boots, Cambridge, 1995. And I was like, oh my god, you've been stalking me. Um but again, just the community around sport, and it got me a little bit stressed if I'm honest, because you know it's it's different now in lots of places, isn't it? The money, the achieving the next level. I don't want to go on about the sports stuff too much, but what what I did really recognise there is this you know, the sense of community that places within the locality can really like just help people. There's lots of people there that have lost their partners and you know are single or they're getting old or they're but just to see their faces light up around you know, this you know, some of their rituals or some of their, you know, the badge and the tie and that stuff was was pretty epic to see.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

That is amazing. It's time travel, isn't it? When you go you go in a rugby club like that, those old guys they are young again, aren't they? They're back there, you know, it's just before the game, and they're they just remember and that that putting those clothes on and being around those people, they're back they are there, they are literally present in with their younger selves. It must be it's such a great connecting thing. I think sport is amazing for that. And I do I mean you know my opinion on professional sport because it just erodes that. Um I think it's I think it's absolutely essential that you find ways to to build those communities. I mean, every time we do a podcast uh with a guest and talk, I mean we always come back to environment, don't we? I mean it is that creating the environment around performance is just so key and and it's and bizarrely so overlooked, and people, you know, there's there's uh oh just get on with it, you know, stop moaning, and you know, oh you know, my employees are complaining or my team they're just not performing and they're all come they're all moaning at me. It's like oh, you know, and I guess you and I would sit there and think, well, yeah, maybe have a look uh closer to home than them, maybe, and think about the environment you're creating.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

It's often simple little changes that we've had lots of people go, Oh, I did this, and I just added this to the start of my meetings. I added this ritual, or you know, we started celebrating, you know, the it's interesting. I speaking to a couple of community clubs recently, and they said, Oh, do you celebrate when people get a 50th cap or a hundredth cap or a like that might make them feel a bit more like they belong, like they're part of like they're part of something. And it also reminded me, I think it was Man United, uh, spent a bit of time there, and they were they would bring lots of um I guess people with Alzheimer's and dementia back, and they would they got a they got a room for it, and they got all the pictures from back then, and then they play all the music from back then and would just say exactly you said like the the the people would just come alive and they almost you almost like go full circle to back back to being like young again, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Like I just I think you are literally there in those moments, you're young again. It's like when you know you people always say, Um, and this is so true, you see some old friends, it's like we met yesterday, you just pick up the con you know, you haven't met them for ten years, and you meet them, and you just pick the conversation up from ten years ago. You are time travelling, you are going, you're back in that moment um together again and at that at that time at that place. So whether it be sport with friends from school, um, whatever, you know, the military that they speak about that a lot when they you know they've been together and they're they're back again in that place. It's a very it's such a pat community is just so powerful and it and it gives you the ability to be your best self if the community is one that helps you. And I think you you you I always remember you saying this and you say it quite a lot, it's like you know, uh if you if it's not good for you, why are you that? You know, don't stay you know, go somewhere else. I mean I I think that is so true. I meet people quite a lot and and I give them your advice which they're in a they're in a and they're hating their job, they're really not enjoying so well get another job. I mean, come on. I mean it you know you cat there can be situations where you're um where it's really hard. You know, people need money and they can't they can't just change jobs. It's I mean, especially, you know, what is unemployment for youngsters is really high, it's very difficult to find jobs. So, you know, they do use it that it that advice can be a bit um much coming from someone like me, but I d I do think you need to work hard to move on and and go and find an environment that that does work for you and Don't stay.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Yeah, I always love that because people leave and then the other people go, Oh my god, they left. Oh my god, somebody do that too. Someone was brave enough to leave. Uh again, I just I was at uh Empire Fight I caught up with Martin, who's the uh at Empire Fighting Chance, which I've mentioned before, as uh boxing gym. Uh obviously to do been in Bristol where they see thousands and thousands of kids that slip through the cracks, and again, like yeah, very cool place, like amazing centre of the community. So, what is it you're doing in your in your world to help people belong? What are you doing to better understand each other? What are you doing? What are the rituals that mean that people want to keep coming back to work and they're excited by it? And yeah, and there's two other stories that I think have happened in the last couple of weeks that I thought would be interesting to share. One was work with a guy called Dan Wardle, who's a hockey coach, and uh uh it's just it's not his full-time job, he loves it. I the I joke about it, he's on a course called ACP that we do with hockey, and and I'm like, it's it's it doesn't count as an ACP like Zoom or meeting if Dan isn't there. Okay because he's like at everything, he's like the and and and I watched him coach the other day, and he and he he he was I've seen him coach across all the different ages, and then he was coaching the first team the other day, and like that was quite a big deal for Dan to be able to like coach the first team, but he's just added so many skills to his locker that he's now like he can do it all, and so I just love that again. I we talk about resilience a lot, but just he's constantly adding skills to his tool belts because the challenge of the first team is the number one challenge is are they having you? So in all you know, in football, like you go and coach, you know, you're gonna see at Bayern Munich, then well, Harry Kane's gotta be having you. Like, because if he's not having you, like, it's like it's pretty hard for you to coach, isn't it? And that's uh and that's a very lonely place. So anyway, I just thought I just were down there if I was too young.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

What do you mean by having you gone? Go on, expand on that. Because I kind of get it, but okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Well look, Scott Robinson Scott Robertson's lost his job with the All Blacks because of player power, hasn't he? Like the players are not having they don't, for whatever reason, you know, right or wrong, they are do not think this guy's getting the best out of the team. That is like that's the reality. And and it might not be all of them, it might be one or two of them, but if there's one or two are, and that is the reality of that's the reality of professional sport, and even more so in football, because you can't get rid of a squad of 30 million pound players. It's way easier to pay Joe say off and add to his, you know, add to his pension. So I just and that is a coaching skill. You you need, you know, you you need to wrestle with that. Like, and I know loads of coaches that are wrestling with that, like, oh god, I wasn't an ex, you know, I wasn't an ex-player. So again, I'll talk about Danksy because I know him. Well, he's like he's a great man. He started coaching on the playgrounds in Birmingham with you know as a development officer, and now he's coaching some of the best players in the world, uh one of the best teams in the world. And so you've probably got a little bit of oh, you know, and also at that level, the players have their own individual coaches as well. So they're probably comparing you to them, like you know, I'm coaching them, and they're all going, Well, Rusty's not as good as my individual coach, is he? I'm like, oh so anyway, just to go back to Dan, like you know, two years of just putting himself out there, trying new things, learning new skills, some stuff going wrong, some stuff going right. And I was just like buzzing to watch him coach the other night, but just look like, you know, on the surface, look like he's he got this all like, you know, this is cool. I got this. No problem, Swiss. Um, which I loved. So that was one story that was, and the other one was a really interesting one. So it led me to ask a long people this question. So I'm gonna ask you the question first, yeah, and then I'm gonna tell you the story, which is very unlike me. I normally tell the story first. So um at what age did you start to feel pressured in sport?

SPEAKER_00 26:12

Uh I was at private school, say probably about eleven. Cool. And by who?

SPEAKER_01 26:18

By yourself, by your peers, by parents, by by a coach. By coach, okay, cool, sweet. And what sport was that? Rugby. Cool. That's interesting. So you're the lowest I've heard from rugby. So for me it was 24. But for football, so the reason this came about is we were we had a uh we did a uh match day coaching with the Premier League, and we bring in all the kids and they come to St. George's Park, which I think should be cool, but also might be adding to the pressure. And their parents come because of course it's in St. George's Park as well. And and so it's cool. We wanted the coaches to have a match day experience, and we want the kids to have an amazing time. And I would say the vast majority do, but some of them have complete like amygdala hijacks and like lose their shit, quite frankly. And so it's really just got me really interested. Like kids that look like they're under high pressure, you know. Like I do, you know, some of the academy stuff is can be very stressful.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

And it just got me thinking a lot about that. So if sport is this, you know, place where you can escape and you know, all the stuff that sport does. Um, it's interesting, isn't it? That you felt pressured at 11. I'd be interested to see what your sons say. My son would definitely be saying younger than me because he's younger than I was, and he's definitely felt pressured. Um I just think it's like super interesting, isn't it? And where that pressure comes from. So it's interesting. Anyone I've asked that was a goalkeeper, the pressure came from the other players.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

So at 10 years old, that was a goalkeeper. Of course he did. Rusty, you've let them rusty, you've let them score.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

It was all your fault. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's weird. So um yeah, I'd very hard calls um coaching at at prep school. They were just it was ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

I think so.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

South African case. And then he liked who he was quite uh he was quite an angry man.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

That answers that answers all my questions if he was South African. Yeah. Um I did meet someone the other day and I was like, oh, you've definitely like surprised me. Um I heard your South African accent, and then you behaved differently. Um, but it just got me thinking a lot about like just you know, when we're talking about brand spectacular, and results like I don't know whether it's just earlier and earlier and earlier, and like yeah, which is I just didn't feel that pressure.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

No, I mean I didn't outside of that, but you you know, so when the first field pressure is that, it's like you know, you get dropped if you don't get perform better, you know, and I wanted to play in the A team, and I was 11. So maybe 12, 11, 12, it was that sort of it was just before you know, it was it was getting to the end of press because I was quite young. Um, yeah, weird.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Um so so then the implications for you look at the implications for coaches now to just be way more aware of that stuff and to be able to support players with it. So I was at a game yesterday, it was an under 12s game, and I said to I was chatting to the goalkeeper coach, I said, Oh hey, nice to meet you, Rusty. I hear you're head of psychology. He was like, Yeah, I'm definitely head of psychology. He's like, I said, Oh, what do you do? And he and he had some really good stuff that he was helping the players with, and I was like, Oh, that's pretty cool. And it is cool that hopefully those players will develop some skills that are helpful at a younger age, but it is like I mean the first person that ever spoke to me about sort psychology was was Alan Buzzer when I was at Rotherham and I was I was 28 years old. Yeah, wow, so now and now it's a thing for like nine, ten, eleven, which is which is cool, but uh I just think that's interesting, isn't it, that we now live in a world where this stuff is just and and it might be helpful, and it might be that I needed some psychological help at a younger age, who knows? But um I just I just got me really thinking about it, just seeing these really extreme reactions, only from a few kids, and thinking, oh, when was that okay, why did why did my childhood not feel like that?

SPEAKER_00 30:28

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's it is weird. It is weird. I mean it's it's interesting you say, you know, you know, maybe I mean psychology, it's it's not psychology, is it? It's just it's just understanding yourself and then how you work. Yeah. And I think you know, there's a there's a bit of a um a taboo about speaking about it, isn't there? And it's weakness and um you know, I I think the word psychology and mindfulness and those words aren't all that helpful. I think just you know, I think I think the phrase high performance helps people access it, because it it uh it gives you a gateway to people, isn't it? I mean I tend to speak about high performance because it gives me access to people who really want to be high performing, you know. But I mean secretly I'm trying to help them do less um in order to perform well.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

You're just you're just using high performance because it means you can add a little zero onto your invoice, yeah?

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Yes. Two zeros maybe if I'm lucky. Yeah, I wish. Um but yeah, I think I think it just it but when you're talking to people who are you know obsessed about output, output, it's all output, and it's about you know, you know, what am I, you know, what uh what am I gonna win the game? Am I gonna make make millions? Am I gonna I don't know, whatever whatever it is they're trying to achieve. When you when you talk to them and say, Oh, I can help you with high performance, oh yeah, great, I need that, okay, I need that. So that it's a it's a good gateway to getting to speak about psychology, mindfulness and all those things. Because you can say that this is about high performance, this is about you performing at your best, um, by paying attention to yourself and who you are and how you how you get the best out of yourself. So me now absolutely exhausted and knackered because I've on on the end of a pretty significant deal, pretty significant life event, really. Um I'm like aware that I need to reset and I need I need to do some physical things rather than mental cerebral things, yeah. So you um I'm aware of that and I I kind of I I'm aware of it. I'm not I'm not doing enough about it. Um maybe I should get a co trusty. Um but I'm uh I think an awareness of that is helpful.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

If only I'd connected you with an international England winger who also does S C.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

I could like it who is who is superb, by the way. Um but he is also it's also an hour from my house.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

Which uh Yeah, that's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

But he is good, yeah, yeah, very, very good. Um he he was quite shocked at my lack of flexibility. I think I got the worst I think I got the worst score on his stretch ometer test thing. Uh he didn't say it, but I could just see in his face. He was thinking, yeah, this is bad.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

I can just imagine him going, just try and touch your toes, Simon. Oh maybe your knees, maybe try and get your knees.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

Can you get to your thighs? I've done bet I mean reformer Pilates, I am way better now than I was, so yeah, yeah, that's good. Yeah, so um what are you gonna do in the coming month? Because we do another one of these in a month. What should we give ourselves some stuff to do? Having said we're not supposed to do anything. I mean I'm gonna try and do I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 33:59

I'm just I'm in a good rhythm. Yeah, maybe maybe that's what you need to do. I mean, I'm in a good rhythm of like I went to the I I did all that stuff this week, but I did go to the Lido with Damien Broad. So me and Damien went and hung on Tuesday morning at the Lido, jacuzzi, just escaped from it all, phones in the locker for two hours or so, nice food, chancks. Obviously, hit session this morning. I I just think I've got my rituals sorted. Now, whether or not they will need to change, but so I find it hard for me to because if I add something, I've definitely got to take it away this month, and that's my challenge. Um, so I think I'm getting in water plenty, I'm doing exercise plenty, I'm obsessed with uh Little Lion Man by Mumford and Son. It's like my go-to get my energy up song. Um I've got to finish to camel fat because of um Polly.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

You know, we l we had the um Pod with Polly, um, unbelievably good pod. But you know she was listening to camel fat, so I I put that out oh back to my youth again. Wow, I've completely forgotten about them. So yeah, but I've be I've had camel fat on repeat in the car around the house. I've been annoying my wife with it. She's going, please can we not listen to camel fat? I have enjoyed it, but now we need to stop. But yeah, so thanks, Polly. Well, yeah, really got me got me because she was saying, you know, that's uh she listens to that a lot. It's uh her and her new man's thing. They listen to camelfat and they went out to a batha, didn't they, to see them? And yeah, I was just I thought, oh I've got to listen to that, and yeah, it's great. Listen to camel fat, everyone. It's awesome. Sorry, I interrupted.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Oh yeah, no, my um one of my my mindfulness. I remember uh Kirk, another obviously guest of the pod, saying um him saying, mindfulness to me is only fools and horses.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

He said, like, I just watch that and it's like mindfulness and so and I know I've said this before, and I know you hate it, but I'm gonna say it. I love Love is Blind, and the latest American season is out, and so I can see how excited you were about that.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

Yeah, I'm not I'm not gonna watch it, but I don't I don't I love that you love it, Rusty. That is that's what I will say there.

SPEAKER_01 36:23

So I will definitely be watching some Love Is Blind for just to like rest my brain. Yeah, but that's super cool.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

I mean, I'd yeah, I think if it does it for you, that's awesome. Doesn't do it for me, it would make me feel stressed. Again, why am I watching this?

SPEAKER_01 36:38

Yeah, it would definitely it would definitely make you feel stressed at the moment because someone uh uh proposed to someone sight unseen and now he's and now he's decided she doesn't look how he wants her to look, and so he's just broke up with us. So it's a little bit stressful, but only in this uh strange world.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Yeah, you're not selling it to me if I'm honest.

SPEAKER_01 36:59

No, I know, you haven't sold it to me.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

I am not gonna be switching that on.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

Um, but yeah, I actually the one thing I do need to do this month is get is get out running again. So I ran last week. We were in Sheffield, so I ran to a few places where we used to live. I ran and took uh one of my good friends, Charlie Harrison. I ran to where he used to live and took a photo, sent him it, and he sent me uh uh a message back that I loved. Um, so I am doing a half marathon in a couple of months. My son is doing it as well. I definitely need to beat him, so I need to train for that. And he anyway, I sent uh Charlie a picture of his house and he just put uh very carefree days. Nice, and that and that's probably the 80s, 90s, to be honest for me.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Yeah, well that's cool. Time travel, mate. That's uh theme.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Time travel.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

A bit of time travel there. How lovely. Yeah. I mean, I'm about you, what's going on? What's going to do in it's gonna have to be some exercise, isn't it? I'm gonna have to find some way of of actually getting out. I've I've got I am stacked out this month. Um, I'm away a lot. 630, 630 every day, boaty boys for sure. I absolutely I absolutely can do it. I just need to do it. Um it's uh it's uh uh and I definitely need to have some some periods of reflection. I think so uh it's gonna be an exercise of mindfulness. So I'm gonna actually I'm gonna do I'm gonna tell you what, I'm gonna do my um so Maya who works with me, she gave me this as a present. Can you see that? It's a little candle.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

So is it a 20 second or a 30-second candle or a it's I think it's 20 minutes. Oh 20 minutes, sorry, 20 minutes, yeah, not 20 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

20 seconds is for the ADHD, it's like me. Yeah, you'd need a 20-second candle. I mean it's 20 minutes, so I'm gonna I think I'll probably spend some time doing some mindfulness properly sitting, just properly sitting and uh paying attention and then um and then yeah, some exercise. So I can I might be able to combine the both actually because running running is quite mindful for me, so maybe get on the row machine and chill out. So there you go. I'll do that it in between all of the all of the absolute chaos and carnage. Um and I'm gonna get out to Porto as well, Portugal. So I'd I think I'm gonna I'll hopefully get out there this month for a bit. I don't know, it might be next month, but we'll see. Love it there.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

Oh yeah, I'm all in lane. Uh my last story, I did yoga the other day, and um obviously I love it. However, I think I accidentally went into a class that wasn't like was way better than I was, and so uh like normally the music's quite calming at the start, and this this one sounded like a bit like I was in a beatha. It was a bit it was it was a little bit techno, and then uh I found myself like in the front hot yoga. Yeah, I found myself in the front of the middle, so I couldn't escape, but it was a really popular class, and there was there was loads of women who looked like they knew what they were doing, and there were two guys who looked a little bit like me, but they were right at the back, which I later found out was a good place for them to be. And uh anyway, so it's it's literally like speed yoga, it's like damn, we're dog into this, into this. And honestly, I'm oh my god, oh my god. And I'm like in the middle on my head, I can barely like all the balance exercises. A couple of them she had to come and hold me straight up. So I was so exhausted and I couldn't stand on one leg. And these two fellas at the back were like wobbling around and falling over, and I was like, You fuckers, yeah, can't believe it.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

Yeah, they let you down and they're laughing away.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

Yeah, oh my god. Anyway, it just made me also when we're talking about our bodies and that stuff like that, also made me realise that oh my god, there's a long way we can go if we if we really like want to do something about it.

SPEAKER_00 40:56

Yeah, sure, sure. And and hugely fulfilling thing to do. So that's uh that's awesome. Yeah, I like it. I like it, Rusty. But a hot yoga, can't believe you got that much into yoga, it's incredible. Who would have called it? Who would have called it? Well, um, lovely to have you on, everybody. Great to chat, Rusty. We'll meet again in a month and see how we're getting on. And um, yeah, enjoy your month.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

Over and out. Thanks so much for joining us on the Ban Specability Podcast with Samuel Russell. We've really enjoyed your company. If you want to reach out to us, Simon, where can they reach you up?

SPEAKER_00 41:31

Um LinkedIn's best place. Simon Ursal, U R S for Sugar E L L. Send me a message. Rusty, where can we find you?

SPEAKER_01 41:38

TikTok, no, not really. LinkedIn, Russell Anshu. And then the same on Twitter, but please uh ignore all my political thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

Yeah, second that over and out.